Ladies: Stop Blaming Men For Not Loving You When You Don't.

I have met so many guys, battered and bruised egos and all. Men who are desperately seeking, anyone. As long as she is kind and giving, and willing to be a little naughty. But what I find is women reaching an age of disinterest. There comes a point in her late thirties when women start feeling the glow is leaving, and the years are coming. Somehow we equate an age of fertility with our sexuality. This is beyond wrong.

Women have spent the last fifty years trying to be defined by more than ovaries, yet I can clearly see men are not alone in doing it, we do it to our selves. While I don't want to advocate that women behave a certain way, or dress a certain way, I must imply that loving your self does wonders for someone loving you. That is not just some lame metaphor, it is a reality. I used to hear women say that a lot, and I often thought, okay, sounds good, but what else.

The what else is getting off the couch and back into life. Remember the teen years when you ran around, and were never home. When you couldn't wait for Saturday night, and how many guys you saw. Well, make time for that. Even if you never did do that, maybe it is time to start. After all sexuality is not about the dress you put on but the way your body language is dressing you.

Not all men are at fault for the ending and damaging of relationships. One thing that I hate to see is a woman who spends more time in soap operas than time with her self.  You know that waxing, and primping, and those face masks. You know those bubble baths and hot nighties, sometimes it is not him you are putting them on for, but you. After all part of our self esteem is feeling like a sexual tigress, and if you let that go, then where does the passion go? Both sexes need a good sex life. It is healthy. Even multiple studies have shown that women and men live longer and healthier when they have regular intercourse. They also have a better chance of staying married.

So why would you think you are doing it for him, when you could be doing it for you. Ladies it is okay and moral to be sexy. It is great to be on your game. Men are not to blame for all the woes in the world. In fact I have seen many loyal loving men who desperately want their wives to give them the loving they desire, and numerous times men are denied. It is inappropriate for sex to be a tool or weapon of marriage. It is almost the cruelest device next to torture a woman can do.

If  you were at the mercy of him, or wanted a baby would it be as charming for him to withhold sex to cause you pain and distress? This modern idea of sex for procreation, and withholding for punishment lacks a lot of reality. It is not okay to behave like a juvenile child and not have sex with  your partner. It is harmful, and painful, and causes emotional and physical distress. Problems in the home should be settled outside the context of sex, and you know why. Women need orgasms too. The more often you neglect him, the more you neglect you. It is the stimulant that binds you both, and the facilitator of health.

In our environment we can see altruism and cooperation working well for other species and pairs. Why do we humans have to mess with a natural perfect thing? The hormones, and stimulation's that occur during sexual pleasure heighten the strength and pair bond between you. Your feeling good about that bond is necessary for it to continue. Women should love themselves enough to want that for their health. It helps our mental health as well as physical.

So when you are out there blaming men for your loneliness, and despair you have to wonder if it is really them, or is it you. After all the thing they have in common is you. I don't want to paint all men as saints here ladies. There are some bad ones in the bunch, but when they come along, and they will, weed them out. Remember that if you find ten bad ones likely one might be the good one, and what is bad for you, might be great for someone else. We are not all a perfect fit, and that is okay too. But take responsibility for your sexual self. Don't wind up going down the isle to marry your self, or worse a building.

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